Texas Tea
by TV Tony
Summary: J.R. and Bobby Ewing try to make an oil deal with a certain Beverly Hills millionaire.


Texas Tea

By TV Tony

Dallas, 1972

Jock Ewing sat behind the big desk in his Ewing Oil Building office. He watched his sons, J. R. and Bobby, walk in.

"You wanted to see us, Daddy?" asked J.R. Bobby closed the door behind them.

"Yeah ,boys, "answered Jock, "have a seat." The brothers took the two chairs facing the desk.

"Boys, you two are goin' to California today," said Jock.

"Oh?" asked J.R.

"What's up, Daddy?" asked Bobby.

"There's a man out in Beverly Hills who brought in a big strike about ten years ago," explained Jock, "and his name is Clampett. Now, he leased the rights to O.K. Oil out of Tulsa for ten years, and that lease runs out this month. When it does, I want that lease for Ewing Oil."

"How much does the field bring in?" asked J.R.

" It's been a steady ten million for ten years," answered Jock.

"That's impressive," said Bobby.

"It sure is," agreed J.R.

"Now the thing is," Jock continued, "this Clampett's not an oil man. In fact, the way I heard it, he was just a poor mountain man who could barely feed his family. But, then he struck oil and moved to Beverly…" At this point, Jock paused to light a cigar. "Hills that is," he finished.

"Beverly Hills," nodded J.R.

"He must have quite a place, now," said Bobby.

"Yeah, swimmin' pool, movie stars hangin' around, the whole nine yards," said Jock.

"Well, how did he strike oil, Daddy?," asked Bobby.

"The story is that he was out huntin', shot a bullet in the ground, and up came the oil," answered Jock. "Now, I find that kind of far-fetched, but how ever he found that oil, he's got it now. And I want it."

"So you want us to fly out there and make the deal?" asked J.R.

"Right," said Jock. "Now, Clampett usually lets his banker handle all of his business. But, I happen to know that the banker, name's Drysdale, will be flyin' out to Tulsa first thing tomorrow, to negotiate with O.K. Oil to renew the lease. You two will already be there to move in on Clampett, and cut him out from under 'em."

"You want us to spread some B's, Daddy?" asked J.R. B's, as they all knew, referred to booze, broads and bootie. Standard tools of persuasion used by the Ewings to help close a deal.

"Well, now, remember, J.R., this Clampett's not a businessman, so there's no tellin' what it'll take to get him to sign with us," said Jock, "But, when it comes to negotiatin', I'm sure he'll be no match for you."

"Well, thank you, Daddy," said J.R., modestly.

"Also," continued Jock, "Clampett's got a good-lookin' young daughter. She might be romanced into infuencin' her old man."

"Well, again, thank you, Daddy," nodded J.R.

Jock scowled at his eldest son. "Let me remind you, J.R.," he said sternly, "that you are engaged to be married. To Miss Texas, no less."

"Yes, sir," nodded J.R. contritely.

"No," said Jock, "this is where Bobby comes in."

"Me?" asked Bobby.

"Sure," responded Jock. "You must've romanced half the girls at S.M.U. Now you can put some of that charm of yours to use for the company."

"No problem, Daddy," said Bobby, who the glanced at J.R. with a somewhat smug smile. J.R. returned his glance with a brief, forced smile of his own. The tension between the two was not lost on Jock.

"Now, you two are the future of this company, and I want you workin' together," said Jock. "I need this deal. Make it happen!"

"We sure will, Daddy," said J.R.

"You can count on us," said Bobby.

"Good!" said Jock, bringing his palms down on his desktop. "Now, get yourselves out to California as soon as you can."

"Right," nodded J.R. To Bobby, he added, "Let's go little brother."

"Sure 'older' brother," responded Bobby, emphasizing the word 'older'. The two then got up and went out the door.

Once they had left, Jock stared at the closed door. Shaking his head, he sighed and said, "Kids."

The next day, J.R. brought the rented convertible to a stop in front of the Clampett mansion.

"Well, this is the address," he said.

"Impressive place," said Bobby, from the front passenger seat.

"Yeah, quite a step up from a 'poor mountain man'," smiled J.R.

The brothers got out of the car and walked up to the front door. They both wore business suits, and J.R. was crowned with his usual white Stetson. Glancing once at Bobby, J.R. rang the bell. A few moments later, Jethro Bodine opened the door.

"Howdy," said Jethro, his mouth full with a bite he had taken from the huge loaf of bread he was holding.

"Mr. Clampett…?" asked J.R., skeptically.

"No, I'm Jethro," he responded, "you must want my Uncle Jed."

"Yes," said Bobby, "we have some business we'd like to discuss with him.

"Sure, come on in," said Jethro, stepping back to allow the two men to enter.

At that moment, Granny stormed into the front hall.

"Jethro!," she exclaimed, "I was fixin' to slice that bread for lunch!"

"Sorry, Granny," said Jethro sheepishly, " I just needed a little snack between meals."

"You need a snack between bites," she said, disgustedly. Just noticing the two visitors, she asked, " Who are them goomers?,"

J.R. stepped forward and removed his hat respectfully. "Ma'am," he said, "I'm J.R. Ewing, and this is my brother, Bobby. We're from Dallas representing Ewing Oil. We have some business we'd like to discuss with Mr. Clampett."

"Oh," said Granny, "pleased to meet you boys. Jed's out back." To Jethro she added," Go fetch 'im, Jethro."

"Yes'm," said Jethro, still munching on the bread. He turned to go, and Granny added, "And not through the kitchen!" Jethro stopped, turned around, and headed in the opposite direction.

Granny said, "As I was sayin', I'm fixin' lunch. Have you boys et yet?'"

"No," said Bobby.

"Good," said Granny. "You can join us then."

"That would be very nice, Ma'am," said J.R.

"Granny then turned and yelled, "Elly!"

A moment later, Elly May Clampett appeared.

"Yes'm, Granny?," she asked.

"Elly, these here are the Ewing brothers, and they're gonna be takin lunch with us," said Granny. "You go get the fancy eatin' room ready."

"I sure will, Granny," said Elly May. She smiled at the brothers and walked off.

J.R. and Bobby watched appreciatively as the attractive young blonde exited the hall.

"That's Jed's daughter," said Granny. She added pointedly, "She's single, you know."

"Oh, well, she's a lovely girl," said J.R.

"She sure is," agreed Bobby.

"So," asked Granny, "are you fellas married?"

"Well…," began J.R.

"J.R. is engaged to a young lady back home," interrupted Bobby. "In fact she's Miss Texas."

"Miss Texas," repeated Granny, "that is a unusual last name."

The brothers looked at each other.

"Uhh, yes Ma'am," said Bobby. "I'm single,though."

"Oh, that's dandy," said Granny, appraising the handsome younger Ewing brother. Then, "Well, I'd best get back to the kitchen and see to lunch. Jethro should be back with Jed directly. You boys make yourselves to home."

Thank you, Ma'am," said J.R. as Granny headed back to the kitchen.

Once she'd gone, Bobby said, "Daddy was sure right. That Elly May is good looking."

"She sure is," smiled J.R.

"Remember the plan, though," said Bobby. "You work on Mr. Clampett. Elly is all mine."

"J.R.'s warm smile turned frosty. "Right," he said.

"Here they are, Uncle Jed."

The brothers turned at the sound of Jethro's voice, to see him approaching, along with Jed Clampett.

"Mr. Clampett?'' asked J.R., extending his hand, "J.R. Ewing of Ewing Oil in Dallas. And this is my brother, Bobby."

"Well, doggies!" said Jed, shaking hands with the brothers, "It's a right pleasure to meet you fellas."

"Sir, it's an honor to meet a man so well known in the oil industry," said J.R.

"Aw, shucks," replied Jed, "I'm just a regular ol' everyday millionaire. But say, Jethro was tellin' me ya'll was here to talk some business with me."

"That's right Mr. Clampett," said Bobby, "We have a proposal we're sure you'll be interested in."

"Well, strictly speakin'," said Jed, "Mr. Drysdale handles all of my business dealin's. He's our next-door neighbor, and president of the bank where I keep my money."

"Well, maybe he'd be available to join us then," said J.R.

"No, he went out of town just this mornin'," said Jed, "and he won't be back for a couple of days."

"Well, that's a shame," lied J.R., "But, maybe you and I can just talk about our deal. Wouldn't be any harm in that."

"No, I reckon not," agreed Jed, "But say, it's almost time for lunch. Why don't you fellas join us?"

"Thank you Mr. Clampett," nodded J.R., "Miss Granny was already kind enough to invite us."'

"Well, good," said Jed.

At that moment, Elly May stepped into the hall. "Pa," she began, "Granny says…"

"Hold on Elly," interrupted Jed. To J.R. and Bobby he said, "You boys better step over here beside me."

With that, Jed stepped to the side of the doorway, and the brothers, looking confused, followed him.

"Go ahead now, Elly," said Jed.

Elly May stepped to the other side of the doorway and continued ,"Granny says to come on in the fancy-eatin' room, cause vittles is ready."

With that, Jethro moved from the spot where he was standing, across the hall and through the doorway so fast, that he was just a blur .As he passed Elly May, a strong breeze blew at her blonde hair and at the skirt of the dress she'd changed into.

"It's best not to get between Jethro and food, 'specially when he's hungry'" explained Jed.

"Which is all the time," added Elly May.

"Well," chuckled J.R., recovering from his shock at the scene he had just witnessed, "I guess he's just a growing boy."

"I hope not," said Jed, "We're havin' enough trouble keepin' him fed the size he is."

Bobby stepped over to Elly May and asked, "May I escort you to the table?"

"Well, that'd be right nice, Mr. Ewing," responded Elly May.

"Please call me Bobby'" he said, smiling and offering his arm.

"All right, Bobby," said Elly May, returning his smile and taking his arm. "I'll show you the way to the fancy-eatin' room." With that, the couple stepped through the doorway.

J.R. watched his daughter walk out with the handsome young man, and said, "Well, Mr. Ewing, let's join 'em."

Smiling, J.R. said, "Yes, sir. But call me J.R. Everybody does."

"That's dandy, J.R.," nodded Jed, "and call me Jed." The two men then followed Bobby and Elly May out of the hall.

"More 'possum soup, J.R.?" offered Granny. The Clampetts and their guests were seated around the pool table in the 'fancy-eatin'' room.

J.R. glanced ruefully at the steaming bowl in front of him, but then quickly smiled and replied, "Oh, no thank you, Miss Granny, I believe I'm full."

"How 'bout you then Bobby?" Granny asked.

Bobby smiled and said, "No thank you, Ma'am."

"What's the matter," frowned Granny, "didn't you boys like it?"

"No, it's not that," J.R. assured her.

"It's just that we had a big breakfast at the hotel," said Bobby.

"Oh," said Granny, mollified, "well ,it ain't good to be too full."

"Yeah," said Jed, as he watched Jethro scrape the last few drops from his third bowl. "But for some of us, I don't believe that's possible."

J.R., spotting an object floating in his soup, had scooped it up with his spoon, and was peering at it curiously.

"Oh, you got a part of the tail," Granny explained, "That's good luck."

"Oh, good," said J.R. with a nervous chuckle, replacing the spoon in his bowl.

Granny saw Bobby smiling at Elly May, who demurely smiled in return. She had purposefully seated the younger Ewing next to her granddaughter.

"Well, Elly," she said, "Why don't you take Bobby around back, and show him the cement pond?"

"But I was fixin' to help you clear the table, Granny," said Elly May.

"Oh, Jethro can do that," said Granny, "Right, Jethro?...Jethro?"

Jethro had now abandoned his spoon, and was now licking around the sides of his bowl, looking for any remaining trace of the soup.

"Jethro!," Granny exclaimed.

Jethro sheepishly set down the bowl, and said, "Yes'm, Granny.

"Well, we sure appreciate the lunch," said J.R., "I've never eaten in a billiard room before."

"Yeah, that's what Mr. Drysdale calls this room," said Jed, "I figure it was named after that critter over there." He indicated the front half of a rhinoceros, stuffed and mounted on the wall. "I reckon that's what you call a billiard," he added.

J.R. looked at the rhinoceros thoughtfully, and said, "Ye, sir. I'm sure that's it."

"It sure is a sturdy table, though," said Jed, tapping a corner of it.

"Yeah, but the folks who had it before, must've spilt syrup or somethin' all over it, and then put this nice green table cloth down on top of it," said Granny, rubbing the felt. "I never have been able to get it off."

Bobby, stifling a laugh at the Clampetts' confusion, turned to Elly May and said, "Well, Elly, I sure would like to go take a look at that…cement pond?,"

"Well, all right, Bobby, she said, "let's go."

As the couple got up from the table, Bobby nodded to the others, and said, "Excuse us." Catching J.R.'s eye, he saw his older brother smile, knowingly.

As Bobby and Elly May exited, and Granny and Jethro began clearing the table, J.R. turned to Jed, and said, "Jed, maybe we can go and talk a little business, now."

"Well, I reckon so," responded Jed. "Why don't we go out front and set, seein' as it's such a purty day?"

"That sounds fine," smiled J.R. The two men got up and left the room.

Jed invited J.R. to join him on the bench in front of the mansion's front doors. Once they were seated, Jed took a small piece of wood and a clasp knife from his jacket pocket, and began to whittle.

"Now, what did you want to talk to me about, J.R.?" he asked.

"Well, Jed," J.R. began, "the oil leases for your land back in the Ozarks are coming up for renewal. Now, Ewing Oil is prepared to buy those leases for a substantially higher amount than O.K. Oil paid you ten years ago."

"Well," replied Jed, "like I said, Mr. Drysdale generally handles all my business dealin's. In fact, that's why he flew out to Oklahoma this mornin', to talk to Mr. Brewster there at O. . Say, you bein' in the Oil business yourself, do you know Mr. Brewster?"

"John Brewster? Why sure, he's a friend of mine," J.R. lied. "But friendship is one thing, and business is another. And like I said, we're prepared to offer you a much more profitable deal."

"Well, that's fine," said Jed, "but you see, Mr. Brewster is a friend of mine, too. He's always treated me and my family mighty well, and I told him I'd be sellin' those leases to him for another ten years."

"Well, now, Jed," said J.R., "you may have told him you were selling to him, but you haven't actually signed any papers yet, have you?"

"Well, no, not yet," Jed admitted, "but I will as soon as Mr. Drysdale gets back."

"That's just it," said J.R., "you're not obligated to sell to Brewster. You can sell to me today, for a whole lot more money."

"Obligated?" asked Jed, "J.R., I gave the man my word. Keepin' it is what I'm 'obligated' to."

"Jed, I don't think you understand just how much money we're talking about here," said J.R., growing agitated. "I'm willing to double Brewster's offer. Once those O.K. rigs are replaced by ours, you're going to see your profits go through the roof."

"Well, J.R.," replied Jed, slowly, "I don't think you understand. I gave my word, and my word is my bond."

"That's not how the oil business works!" exclaimed J.R.

"Well, that's how I work," said Jed, firmly.

"You know, people don't usually turn me down," said J.R., "especially when I'm trying to make them rich. Those who do turn me down, though, usually regret it."

Jed, now getting angry himself, looked at J.R. for a long moment. "Are you threatinin' me?" he asked, in a low voice.

"I'm just saying, that in the oil business, it's not a good idea to say no to J.R. Ewing," said J.R., menacingly.

"Well, that's the answer you're getting' from J.D. Clampett," said Jed, angrily, "No."

The two men glared at each other, but the spell was broken when a soaking wet Bobby came running around the corner of the house. He stopped, panting, when he reached Jed and J.R.

"What in tarnation?" asked Jed, "Bobby, how did you get all wet?"

Bobby, looking back nervously the way he had come, responded, "Elly and I had a little disagreement back by the pool."

"It looks like she throwed you in it," said Jed.

"I did!" exclaimed Elly May, who had just stepped out the front door, "and I'm fixin' to do a whole lot worse!"

Bobby, lifting his hands in a placating gesture, said, "Now, Elly, you've got the wrong idea."

Granny and Jethro then came through the open front door. "What's all the ruckus?" Granny asked.

J.R. exclaimed, "Elly threw my brother in the pool!"

"Elly May!" admonished Granny, "why would you do that to such a nice young man?"

"I'll tell you why," said Elly May, disgustedly. She bent over and whispered in the old lady's ear.

On hearing her granddaughter's explanation, Granny's eyes widened and her face turned red. "Where's my shotgun?" she bellowed. Turning, she ran back into the mansion.

"Jethro," said Jed, "go make sure your Granny don't get ahold of her gun, and keep her in the house for a minute."

"Yes, sir," said Jethro, going back inside.

Jed gave Bobby a hard stare, then said, "you go on in, too, Elly."

Elly May glared at Bobby, then said, "Yes, sir, Pa," and went inside.

Jed stood facing the brothers. "Now, boys," he said, "I've seldom ever had to ask anybody to leave my home. But you too have about wore out your welcome."

"Now, look here…," J.R. began.

"I don't know how you do things in Dallas," said Jed, cutting him off, " But this ain't the way we behave in Bug Tussle. Nor in Beverly Hills, neither."

Bobby sighed, and said, "You're right, Mr. Clampett. I'm sorry. Please tell Elly I'm sorry, too."

Jed gave Bobby a stern nod.

J.R., wanting to try one more time, began, "Now about these leases…," but Jed's cold stare made him stop.

"All, right," he said, exasperated, "let's get out of here, Bobby." With that, the brothers walked over to their car and got in.

"I will give you boys some advice," said Jed. "You two are young, and it ain't too late to change your ways. Treat folks like you'd want to be treated. That's the best way to run your business, and the best way to run your lives. Think about that."

J.R. was busying himself starting the car, deliberately showing Jed that he didn't need his advice. But Bobby nodded, thoughtfully.

With the engine now running, J.R. put his hand on his head, and said, " Wait a minute. Where's my hat?"

Hearing a noise, the brothers looked over at the bench where Jed and J.R. had been sitting. Standing on it was Elly May's chimp, Cousin Bessie, with J.R.'s Stetson on her head. She chirped and clapped her hands at the men in the car.

"Never mind, I'll buy another one," said J.R. Putting the car in gear, he drove away from the mansion.

As the car moved down the driveway, J.R. shook his head. "Apes, guns, 'possum soup?" he asked, disgustedly. " Those people are crazy."

"The worst of it is, we're gonna have to go back to Daddy, empty-handed," said Bobby.

"Well, maybe not, little brother," said J.R.

Looking at him, Bobby asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, this Clampett's a lost cause," said J.R., "but we may be able to make another deal. Before we go home, we're making a side trip to Denver."

"What's in Denver?" asked Bobby.

"Denver Carrington," answered J.R., "I know the owner, Blake Carrington. And. I also know that he has some offshore leases that he's looking to sell. We can make a deal for those, and we won't have to go home empty-handed, after all."

"I hope so," said Bobby.

"Now, Carrington has a good-looking daughter, too" said J.R. "Maybe your charms will work a little better on her." J.R. looked at Bobby's wet clothes and chuckled.

"I don't know, J.R.," he said, "Maybe Mr. Clampett's right. Maybe this is no way to do business."

"Now, Bobby," said J.R., " who are you gonna listen to, that old hayseed, or me? Trust me, little brother. You just follow my lead, and we'll always end up on top."

"Well, maybe," said Bobby.

J.R. glanced at him and said, "You'll see," then laughed, confidently. Reaching the end of the driveway, he turned right, pointing the car toward the hotel .As they turned, Bobby looked back at the mansion, and saw Jed, still standing in front, watching them.

"Yeah, we'll see," said Bobby, softly.

Jed watched the car turn onto the road. To his aging hound dog, who lay in the sun next to him, he said, " Duke, I don't believe there's no hope for that J.R. But, Bobby might just turn out all right, though." Smiling, he added, "You never know." With that, he turned and went into the house.

The End


End file.
